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November 2020 November 2020

the evening, the water polo game. Often 400/500 people would turn up to see 1400 buildings and pieces of land from the merging Councils. Schools, leisure
the game under the floodlights amidst huge excitement against the likes of centres, hotels, farms, the list is enormous. We need to work out which we want
Exmouth, Exeter and Devonport Services who were all fierce local rivals at the to keep, either for financial reasons or to deliver services. This was underway
time. when Covid-19 hit us.
The last gala of the season was always eagerly anticipated and was organised as We need to work out what we want to keep and what we don't. What we don't
a fun event. The usual items were on the programme. There was always a fancy want to keep we should do something else with. Sometimes we will want to do
dress parade in which most of the entrants would end up in the pool. This would be something specific, for example in Wareham we have a piece of land and we
followed by the infamous Dripsomaniac Diving Team where the idea was to dress are working with the NHS to build a new Doctor's surgery and some supported
up in ludicrous costumes and dive into the pool displacing as much water as living accommodation for those who need a bit of help. Sometimes we should
possible over the spectators. sell assets to raise money, which we will then spend on care, education or
whatever needs investment. But this isn't selling family silver. It is selling bits of land
It was in the August of 1962 that a group of us sat on
poolside plotting an idea for a spectacular finale to the that we have no use for that others can do something useful with. We shouldn't
Carnival Gala when I thought of it. “How about a hold land if a builder could put houses on it.
Houdini act? “ I suggested rather tentatively. I had Selling assets produces a capital receipt. Dorset Council is very short of money,
seen the great Harry Houdini portrayed on film a few but we are short of revenue, that is largely council tax. By law Councils cannot
years before where he had escaped from a use capital to pay their regular bills, like salaries. The law is to stop Councils
straightjacket whilst being dangled in a large tank full of spending more than they can afford. What we can do with capital is invest in
water. “Great idea if you are going to do it” everyone major things, like new schools, dust carts, school buses. Things that will have a
cried. long life. We will either do that with any capital we receive or pay off some of our
debt to reduce our interest payments
So it was down to me and being young and foolish, I set
about the task of constructing my act. I would need a

large sack, some heavy chains and rope plus half a
gallon of petrol! In the run up to the event, always the Letter to the Health Secretary
last Tuesday in August, I prepared myself with a
practice to prove it would work and my Houdini act I reproduce in full the letter my ward partner (Laura) recently sent to the Health
was duly added to the programme. Secretary. I am very proud of her battling for Dorset in this way.
The great evening arrived and I was ready. All the other Dear Secretary of State,
items on the programme had been completed. Amidst I write with concern regarding the Government’s testing for Coronavirus.
growing excitement my entrance was announced by the wonderful Ron
Hernaman on the mike. “Take these Chains from my Heart and set me Free” sang Although I am well aware that this is a national issue, I would like to highlight a
Ray Charles over the loudspeakers as I stepped forward with great ceremony and very worrying recent experience in Dorset, alongside some more general
climbed the steps to the top 4 metre diving board. observations and challenges.
There, I was greeted by the mayor of Barnstaple who was asked to inspect the Recently, a local care home ordered 200 tests to be delivered. They were
sack, chains and rope. He dutifully nodded his approval and I was bound hand completed by staff and residents and the courier booked. The courier failed to
and foot, chains were wrapped over me and I stepped into the sack which was attend in time for the tests to remain viable and all had to be discarded. This
firmly tied at its neck. There was a deathly hush in the crowd as the lights were would be unfortunate were it a one off; but is unacceptable as it is a common
dimmed and half a gallon of petrol was poured onto the pool. Imagine what Elf’ occurrence.
’n Safety would say about this these days!
Another issue we face is that Pillar 2 testing programme is being run as if it is a
Martin from my support team lit his torch and then held it over the pool. Suddenly commercial operation, with frequent references to slots ‘being sold out’.
there was a giant whoosh and it was ablaze. I was now ready for my big entrance Language is important - testing is an essential plank of the response to a
and two of my burly fellow water polo players lifted me entombed in my sack and pandemic; and needs to be developed with a clear public health strategy
threw me into the pool. underpinning it.

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