Page 28 - br-sep-2020
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September 2020                                                                      September 2020

       our latest blog on how to cope with anxiety now that lockdown restrictions are      dollop  of  decibels  from  the  emergency  services,  can  only  add  insult  to  injury,
       lifting. For anyone interested in accessing Laura’s counselling services, she offers   especially at such hours in the morning.
       concessionary  rates  to  carers  who  state  they  are  registered  with  Carer  Support
       Dorset                                                                              I have never been a fan of parody. To my way of thinking, as a writer, if you need
                                                                                           to resort to parody, then you are scraping the bottom of the barrel. Having said
       https://www.carersupportdorset.co.uk/news/coping-with-anxiety-after-lockdown/       that, I found myself mentally rewriting one of Simon and Garfunkel’s greatest hits.
                                                                                           The  Sound  of  Sirens  has  an  almost  oriental  twist  and  could  be  full  of  eastern
                                                                                           promise, for anyone with an inclination to have a go.
                                                                                           Eastern  promise  was  something  we  noticed  in  abundance,  when  travelling  in
                                                                                           Thailand  a  few  years  ago.  Somehow,  we  got  involved  in  a  little  folkie  session
       THANK YOU                                                                           involving  two  Thai  girls,  who  were  very  keen  to  sing  songs  for  us,  in  their  best
                                                                                           perceived English (most of which was probably learned by osmosis).
       Bernice, Andy, Mark, Jane and family wish to say a big thank you to all our friends
       and neighbours for your cards and lovely wishes for our sad loss of Cyril, and for all   One  of  their  songs  was  “Puff  Magix
       his  friends  from  the  sports  club  (or  should  I  say  his  second  home)  for  their   Dlagon”, which went well, until they got to
       wonderful friendship over the years.                                                the  word  frolicked.  That  transposed  into
                                                                                           florricked. The word rascal became lascal.
                                                                                           It  sang  as  follows,  “Puff  Magix  Dlagon,
                                                                                           rived  by  the  sea,  and  florricked  in  the
                                                                                           Autumn mist in a rand corred Honory. Ritter
                                                                                           Jackie  Paper,  ruvved  the  lascal  Puff  and
                                                                                           blought  him  stlings  and  sealing  wax,  and
                                                                                           other fancy stuff”.
                                                                                           It  was  a  stout  effort  and  we  rewarded
                                                                                           them  with  rapturous  applause,  as  their
                                                                                           faces beamed from ear to ear. After that,
                                                                                           there  was  no  stopping  them,  as  they
                                                                                           launched  into  ten  gleen  bottles,  followed
                                                                                           by gleen glow the lushes oh. Gleen glow gave the old song an almost radioactive
                                                                                           facelift.
                                                                                           These querky exchanges reminded me of the caricature of an eastern gentleman
                                                                                           who took a job in supplies, at a factory just outside London. On his first day at work,
                                                                                           he  was  nowhere  to  be  found,  until  the  foreman  opened  a  cupboard  door,  at
                                                                                           which point, the new employee jumped out in front of him, uttering the immortal
                                                                                           word “supplies”.

                                                                                           All of this takes me back with fear and trepidation, to Simon and Garfunkel and
                                                                                           the Sound of Sirens. Other questionable songs up for grabs, from around the same
                                                                                           era,  could  be Isrand  of  Dleams  by  the  Splingfields,  Seven  Dlunken  Nights  by  the
                                                                                           Dubriners, or Felly Closs the Mersey, by Gelly and the Pacemakers. Just after that
                                                                                           could  be  Clocodire  Lock  by  Erton  John  and  then  more  recently  Loobie,  loobie
                                                                                           loobie by the Kaiser Chiefs, but enough of this sclaping the bottom of the ballel,
                                                                                           when we rive in what can onry be desclibed as vely selious times.
                                                                                                                                           Paul J Openshaw May 2020

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